want to know something....i am not a fan of being a public speaker, actually i would much rather sing alone for a crowd of 5,000 all alone than have to open my mouth and speak.
BUT....my life isn't about what I want to do, it's about God's will and i need to be obedient and do just that.
as i prepare for a weekend of speaking, singing, and worship i have had a lot of time to pause and reflect on what God really wants me to say. i struggle with fears and worries about not being able to say what i want and staying relaxed. i struggle with rejection and curiosity on how the crowd will take what we all have to say.
purity. ya-not always an easy topic to speak on but i honestly feel like God has called me to do it. i have been on a bumpy path and have so much on my heart to talk about but yet worry. i can only pray God will fill my mouth with the words He needs these young girls to hear. you see we were told going into this event this weekend that a girl from this group tried to justify that it's ok to have sex before marriage. it's not. and i can only hope i am able to plant a new seed and a new view on how GOD views sex, love, and marriage.
so a verse i plan on sharing...
romans 6:1-2
"well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? of course not! since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?"
proverbs 4:23
"above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
i pray this weekend brings challenges so i can be used for God's kingdom. i pray for Jesus' to speak through me, and i pray the girls that come to the conference this weekend come with open hearts.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
i spent the weekend in little town lennox, sd. helping out with worship at a church retreat.
it was amazing. i was starting to feel hollow in my walk lately and needed some stillness and a time to reflect: and that's exactly what i got. i walked away from the weekend feeling refreshed and renewed.
the speaker at the retreat really helped us focus on our own walk with the Lord. he wanted us to look at who the hero's in our life were, where there are danger signs in our life, and how we can help other's if they are heading in the wrong direction. we reflected on how we all have sin in our lives, but God came and gave us the most wonderful gift we could ever ask for. love and grace.
my favorite verse i walked away with from this weekend: john 10:10
the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full
i reflected on the speaker's words as he said the hero's in most of our lives are not celebrities, or well known people, it's the "unknown" people-they are the hero's! the hero's in my life-God and my family...i don't know what i would do without any one of them. they lift me up when i am down, and hold me up in the difficult times. they are my hero's.
we went on to talk about the danger's in our lives and the danger our family and friends may be heading into. this hit home, i make mistakes but feel like i have God to rely on now, where in the past i was living "alone." i was able to write a note to myself about what i want for my life, where i don't want to be again, and what i'm going to do when i am about to fall. once i got out the pen and paper it was crazy how the words filled the page. i could have wrote for hours. God was speaking through me onto that paper and i wanted to keep writing...
back to this verse from john...it really got me thinking. i want to live a full life-IN CHRIST. i want to not feel guilty about my decisions and i want to be surrounded by Christian loving people.
i want to be REAL.
satan has won the battle in my life far to often, and i'm sick of that. he is a thief who only comes to destroy me emotionally and make me feel hollow. i'm done with that...
looking out at a church of young youth filled with the love of my Father this past weekend was a blessing. singing to my Father in worship, with youth hungry for the Lord is powerful, and i know all the wonderful moments were a gift from Him. i walked away from the weekend learning i need to "pause" more in my life. i need to step away from the facebook, texting, tv, and music to just pray, study, and learn more about my Father.
He came to give ME life, and live it to the full...this i know.
thank u Father, u are good!
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
it was amazing. i was starting to feel hollow in my walk lately and needed some stillness and a time to reflect: and that's exactly what i got. i walked away from the weekend feeling refreshed and renewed.
the speaker at the retreat really helped us focus on our own walk with the Lord. he wanted us to look at who the hero's in our life were, where there are danger signs in our life, and how we can help other's if they are heading in the wrong direction. we reflected on how we all have sin in our lives, but God came and gave us the most wonderful gift we could ever ask for. love and grace.
my favorite verse i walked away with from this weekend: john 10:10
the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full
i reflected on the speaker's words as he said the hero's in most of our lives are not celebrities, or well known people, it's the "unknown" people-they are the hero's! the hero's in my life-God and my family...i don't know what i would do without any one of them. they lift me up when i am down, and hold me up in the difficult times. they are my hero's.
we went on to talk about the danger's in our lives and the danger our family and friends may be heading into. this hit home, i make mistakes but feel like i have God to rely on now, where in the past i was living "alone." i was able to write a note to myself about what i want for my life, where i don't want to be again, and what i'm going to do when i am about to fall. once i got out the pen and paper it was crazy how the words filled the page. i could have wrote for hours. God was speaking through me onto that paper and i wanted to keep writing...
back to this verse from john...it really got me thinking. i want to live a full life-IN CHRIST. i want to not feel guilty about my decisions and i want to be surrounded by Christian loving people.
i want to be REAL.
satan has won the battle in my life far to often, and i'm sick of that. he is a thief who only comes to destroy me emotionally and make me feel hollow. i'm done with that...
looking out at a church of young youth filled with the love of my Father this past weekend was a blessing. singing to my Father in worship, with youth hungry for the Lord is powerful, and i know all the wonderful moments were a gift from Him. i walked away from the weekend learning i need to "pause" more in my life. i need to step away from the facebook, texting, tv, and music to just pray, study, and learn more about my Father.
He came to give ME life, and live it to the full...this i know.
thank u Father, u are good!
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
1 Peter 3:13-17...my new favorite verse this week ;)
who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?
but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.
"do not fear their threats; do not be frightened."
but in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.
always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
but do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscious, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
for it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
i don't know how to even write this blog today-i have so much racing through my mind. life seem's to have shaken for a lot of people in the past few days and i can't help but stop and think about the pain and suffering i know they are going through. it's hard to find the hope in what we think is a hopeless situation...i get that-maybe in a different form but i get it.
this blog is thrown together-i know-but it's my thoughts, my words
back to the verse...i asked a friend last week a favorite bible verse they had. this was it! pretty much love it, and found myself wondering why i didn't trip upon it sooner. i realize as i get older, i am learning more about who i am as a women-sometimes scary, but good. i find myself digging into the word more, wanting to reach the lost and even the found. i need the found to hold me up and support me and the lost to help me grow and share my love for the Lord. After processing this verse through my mind a few times my conclussion...i am blessed when i have to suffer for what is right because i have a mighty Father who cares!
life is full of unexpected suprises and tradgedies, and i was reminded of that this week. i am also reminded that i am on earth for one purpose and that is to follow my Lord and Savior and do what His will is for my life. i have to be ready for the time when someone walks into my life and asks about the hope that God has given me! i will never have the answers to why things have to happen to good people but it is all part of God's will and purpose and i have to trust just that.
in the hard times i need to remeber God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?
but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.
"do not fear their threats; do not be frightened."
but in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.
always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
but do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscious, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
for it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
i don't know how to even write this blog today-i have so much racing through my mind. life seem's to have shaken for a lot of people in the past few days and i can't help but stop and think about the pain and suffering i know they are going through. it's hard to find the hope in what we think is a hopeless situation...i get that-maybe in a different form but i get it.
this blog is thrown together-i know-but it's my thoughts, my words
back to the verse...i asked a friend last week a favorite bible verse they had. this was it! pretty much love it, and found myself wondering why i didn't trip upon it sooner. i realize as i get older, i am learning more about who i am as a women-sometimes scary, but good. i find myself digging into the word more, wanting to reach the lost and even the found. i need the found to hold me up and support me and the lost to help me grow and share my love for the Lord. After processing this verse through my mind a few times my conclussion...i am blessed when i have to suffer for what is right because i have a mighty Father who cares!
life is full of unexpected suprises and tradgedies, and i was reminded of that this week. i am also reminded that i am on earth for one purpose and that is to follow my Lord and Savior and do what His will is for my life. i have to be ready for the time when someone walks into my life and asks about the hope that God has given me! i will never have the answers to why things have to happen to good people but it is all part of God's will and purpose and i have to trust just that.
in the hard times i need to remeber God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
one month ago at this time i stood on a stage looking out at the people of haiti...
its been a few weeks since being back in the states and i have been taking this time to soak in the whole experience.
people have asked how haiti was...
that's a loaded question!
it's beyond hard to describe the things i saw, and the feelings i went through.
my heart was broken holding children at the orphanage who are without parents. my heart was broken seeing a little boy getting his shoe stolen, and then to see him cry as if he lost everything-these was all emotions and feelings i will never be able to put into words, but i am so thankful i was able to experience.
i went on the trip hoping to come back with and idea and direction i wanted to go with my life. i came back disappointed feeling like i had unanswered questions and i was just as confused as
when i left. after a few weeks of being home, i think God did give me answers i just had to search my heart some more.
i went to haiti wondering if mission work was something God was calling me to get into full time. i was curious if God wanted me to be used in a different country, and if this is where He wanted me to stay for awhile. i learned on this trip and being home for a few weeks that God is calling me to do more short term mission trips. -i am excited to see where He will lead me with more mission trips, i am thankful for these answers to what i thought were unanswered prayers a few weeks ago.
i am learning to be happy with what i have
thankful for the people who have surrounded me the past few months
and have gotten my life right with God- it's awesome.
i feel like my life is at a place it has never been before
i found-me.
i have learned to accept my life and embrace all that God throws at me...and i am grateful.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
its been a few weeks since being back in the states and i have been taking this time to soak in the whole experience.
people have asked how haiti was...
that's a loaded question!
it's beyond hard to describe the things i saw, and the feelings i went through.
my heart was broken holding children at the orphanage who are without parents. my heart was broken seeing a little boy getting his shoe stolen, and then to see him cry as if he lost everything-these was all emotions and feelings i will never be able to put into words, but i am so thankful i was able to experience.
i went on the trip hoping to come back with and idea and direction i wanted to go with my life. i came back disappointed feeling like i had unanswered questions and i was just as confused as
when i left. after a few weeks of being home, i think God did give me answers i just had to search my heart some more.
i went to haiti wondering if mission work was something God was calling me to get into full time. i was curious if God wanted me to be used in a different country, and if this is where He wanted me to stay for awhile. i learned on this trip and being home for a few weeks that God is calling me to do more short term mission trips. -i am excited to see where He will lead me with more mission trips, i am thankful for these answers to what i thought were unanswered prayers a few weeks ago.
i am learning to be happy with what i have
thankful for the people who have surrounded me the past few months
and have gotten my life right with God- it's awesome.
i feel like my life is at a place it has never been before
i found-me.
i have learned to accept my life and embrace all that God throws at me...and i am grateful.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Saturday, February 4, 2012
ephesians 2:4-5
"but because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved"
it is by grace i have been saved...it's hard for my head to wrap around this truth that God has given me. when i'm sinning i sure don't think of what God did for me on that cross...how selfish i know..this is why i have chosen to focus my life more on God and others than on myself. its hard-for me. but i sure am trying.
after seeing my little nephew in the hospital this past week it sure hit me that at any moment God can shake up our lives and we find ourselves depending on Him completely. why is it that when life gets tough or something goes wrong i find myself more in the word and prayer? i hate this-it's the guilt that weighs heavy on my heart. i think God is teaching me trust and what love is-he saw me slowly going back to old ways and wants my heart back that is alive in Him so he had to shake things up to shake me up.
i have to thank a dear friend for sending me this text a few months ago when life was tough because it's been a text i have gone back and looked at on more than one occasion-and one that i have looked at a lot this past week.
"you're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God"
i need to do more leaning on God-more trusting. i am blessed. i have the most amazing family and although i have heard on more than one occasion that were together ALL the time i don't see what's bad about that. i am blessed to have brother in laws that i could call in a split second to talk to and know they would listen if something was wrong. i am blessed to have sisters that are my best friends and are their for me through the good and the bad. and then my parents-they have loved me unconditionally and i am so thankful for all they have done in my life.
i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. period. i have an awesome life and i'm so thankful for God's grace and love for me even in the hard times. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
"but because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved"
it is by grace i have been saved...it's hard for my head to wrap around this truth that God has given me. when i'm sinning i sure don't think of what God did for me on that cross...how selfish i know..this is why i have chosen to focus my life more on God and others than on myself. its hard-for me. but i sure am trying.
after seeing my little nephew in the hospital this past week it sure hit me that at any moment God can shake up our lives and we find ourselves depending on Him completely. why is it that when life gets tough or something goes wrong i find myself more in the word and prayer? i hate this-it's the guilt that weighs heavy on my heart. i think God is teaching me trust and what love is-he saw me slowly going back to old ways and wants my heart back that is alive in Him so he had to shake things up to shake me up.
i have to thank a dear friend for sending me this text a few months ago when life was tough because it's been a text i have gone back and looked at on more than one occasion-and one that i have looked at a lot this past week.
"you're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God"
i need to do more leaning on God-more trusting. i am blessed. i have the most amazing family and although i have heard on more than one occasion that were together ALL the time i don't see what's bad about that. i am blessed to have brother in laws that i could call in a split second to talk to and know they would listen if something was wrong. i am blessed to have sisters that are my best friends and are their for me through the good and the bad. and then my parents-they have loved me unconditionally and i am so thankful for all they have done in my life.
i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. period. i have an awesome life and i'm so thankful for God's grace and love for me even in the hard times. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
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