on the way...

ephesians 2:4-5
"but because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved"

it is by grace i have been saved...it's hard for my head to wrap around this truth that God has given me. when i'm sinning i sure don't think of what God did for me on that cross...how selfish i know..this is why i have chosen to focus my life more on God and others than on myself. its hard-for me. but i sure am trying.

after seeing my little nephew in the hospital this past week it sure hit me that at any moment God can shake up our lives and we find ourselves depending on Him completely. why is it that when life gets tough or something goes wrong i find myself more in the word and prayer? i hate this-it's the guilt that weighs heavy on my heart. i think God is teaching me trust and what love is-he saw me slowly going back to old ways and wants my heart back that is alive in Him so he had to shake things up to shake me up.

i have to thank a dear friend for sending me this text a few months ago when life was tough because it's been a text i have gone back and looked at on more than one occasion-and one that i have looked at a lot this past week.
"you're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God"

i need to do more leaning on God-more trusting. i am blessed. i have the most amazing family and although i have heard on more than one occasion that were together ALL the time i don't see what's bad about that. i am blessed to have brother in laws that i could call in a split second to talk to and know they would listen if something was wrong. i am blessed to have sisters that are my best friends and are their for me through the good and the bad. and then my parents-they have loved me unconditionally and i am so thankful for all they have done in my life.

i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. period. i have an awesome life and i'm so thankful for God's grace and love for me even in the hard times. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.

this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb