Wednesday, August 1, 2012
08/01/12
I took some time this morning and focused on a devotional about overcoming fear. Fears may never happen but often I give them so much attention and turn them into something bigger. What I realize though is that I am not alone. Whether my fear of rejection, finances, or not fulfilling my dreams I realize that we all have fears and I am not the only one to worry.
I was reading about how God walks us through the valleys of life, and how so often we think God is going to deliver us through every valley we walk through. However, God does not promise this, instead what He does promise is to lead us and never leave us. Through fear, doubts, stress, and anger God promises to never leave us nor forsake us.
What hit me in reading my devotional this morning was a statement that “our fear many times is a shadow of Satan.” I felt like a rock hit the bottom of my stomach. I never want to be a reflection on the evil one.
But—I kept reading…and there it was simply put, “a shadow assumes a light.” There it was- the hope as Christians we all need to remember and remind ourselves of.
It is here that we can learn what overcoming fear is all about. With the glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel we have hope, we learn trust and faith when we rely on God and follow His plans for our lives.
I know I can be stubborn, at times selfish, and even fear filled, but I am trying to change that and rely on God. I’m trying to rely on His plans for my life and learn what it means to be a humble, caring, and loving Christian, never giving up on God, and never suffering or facing things alone.
Trust in the Lord will help us overcome fear! Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
This is my journey, this is my story, this is my life…
kb
Monday, June 18, 2012
when I reflect on the past few weeks, or since i have wrote, i have been learning the meaning of being still and listening. although-my boyfriend may beg to differ on the “listening part." i feel like so much of my life i have questioned over and over again what I am suppose to do with my life and what my career is supposed to be. i was challenged with some words yesterday that hit home. "your career is what you do for God’s kingdom while you are here on earth, as well as following Him. it’s so easy to get my head wrapped around the ideas of what the world states you need to be."
being successful is being happy-it’s feeling the love of Jesus and showing it every day in my life. it’s striving to become more like my Father and learning to be still in life and wait on Him- that is going to make me successful. i know i tend to follow my own ways, which is normal; i'm just learning to rely more on Him, rather than other distractions in my life. i love the verse from Philippians that i shared earlier-how reassuring it is to know that God is continually working on me in every aspect of my life. Jesus has taught me happiness and love that i never knew existed till i fell apart and starting falling on Him. i’ll never forget the moments where i took my anger out on God and turned from Him-i work every day to forget the things in my past that i fell into because God has given me forgiveness. we are to ask for forgiveness, forgive ourselves, and forget about our sinful ways. This I am still learning.
God is working in me. i look forward to the day i get to talk to Him and have all my questions answered-maybe by then i’ll be a good listener! i am truly thankful for the people in my life that have been huge blessings in shaping who i am today. learning to be still has taught me multiple life lessons already, and it took some getting used to but when i listen that is when the Lord speaks! i thank God everyday for the joys and sorrows in my life because it’s what makes me, “me!”
This is my journey, this is my story, this is my life….
kb
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
o God of every aching heart, we long for you in light and dark. (kj)
when life pushes me to my last limits and i feel like i am on my last rope of patience i look to you Lord. when i find myself looking into my frustrations i have to turn them into opportunities. this is when, you Lord, are working the hardest in my life. when i see road blocks as disappointments you are teaching me to draw closer to you.
some days i dont trust you enough to let go and let you lead my days. i do not cast my worries or troubles on you because i think i can figure this life out on my own. i need to turn my days into Your days.
1 Peter 5:6
humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time
1 Thessalonians 5:18
give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
lots of thoughts, pressing songs playing over and over in my head...not sure the purpose but God is working. nothing is too difficult for God to accomplish, i can count on Him in every situation and that's just what i'll do. :)
this is my journey, this my story, this is my life...kb
Thursday, April 26, 2012
"And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my
town know that you are a virtuous woman."
What are you doing everyday to learn more about yourself and God’s calling for your life?
This is a question that was thrown at me this morning…I was a bit taken back just because it’s
not just an everyday question-but, maybe it should be?
One thing I have learned about myself is that I need to be held accountable. I know some day’s
I feel like writing this blog is a chore but I do it because I know I need to for myself. When I first
started this blog I didn’t want anyone to know about it, I just wanted it to be something just for
myself. But I realized quickly that if I was going to have something, “online,” I can’t care about
who reads it or what they think. I’m learning slowly but being vulnerable and open does not
always come so easy to me.
So what am I doing everyday to get to know myself better and learn about God’s calling for my
life?.... being patient, quiet, and listening. I have put my heart in a place in hopes that God will
see that I want to follow His leading and go where He wants me to go. I have wasted too much
of my life following my own leadings so I am learning to rely on who is really important.
I feel like in all my readings lately God keeps nudging on me to stop fearing. I have had a lot
on my mind lately with where God is calling me and I’m starting to think maybe when I stop
fearing God will start moving mountains, I just have to get there yet-like I said I’m working on
my patience!
Sometimes I think I want to live in Sioux Falls, sometimes I think I like it right where I am, other
times I wonder if I should be somewhere completely new-but, for now I’m learning to be happy
where I am right now, and thankful for ALL God has blessed me with.
This is my journey, this is my story, this my life…
kb
Monday, April 16, 2012
containing a mistake, weakness, or fault
we all are aren’t we?
i had a good conversation this past week with my boyfriend about having a hard time forgiving others but also ourselves. my boyfriend is a youth intern at a church and this was his topic of discussion for the week. He was having trouble with his topic and came to me for help. Before we knew it we found ourselves engulfed in a deep discussion.
It brought out the best of us…or the worst, depending upon how you want to look at it. ( the purpose behind our discussion was to see the real "us," flaws and all. i ended up sharing many stories about my past, where i learned to forgive myself but also stories where i still need to learn to forgive. the more i talk about my past the more i strive to never go back to the person i once was.
in 2 Corinthians 12:9a it says, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
His grace is for me. it’s clearly stated. in our weakness’ He has strength.
flaws shaped me into who i am today. some of my flaws have caused me to put up barriers while others have helped me grow, but i am thankful for them all.
i still have plenty of days where I make mistakes and falter, but i look at it all differently now. i want God to be proud of me, as well as my family and those who surround me. i want to be a person of integrity and humbleness. i know I have been told I have an overly honest personality
but like i said to one of my sisters the other day, " i would much rather be overly honest, than a person who is getting caught up in their own lies." i never want to go back to that person I once was-and am thankful for the position God has enabled me to be in. a few weeks ago when i was at a concert i had a young girl confront me on a situation going on at her school, i knew God had brought this girl to me for a reason. i listened to what the young girl had to say and saw a child of God who needed some advice and guidance. being in a much similar situation as hers I was able to take what I learned and help guide her down God’s path. I find myself blessed with the opportunity to speak to young girls one on one at concerts and tell them about my past in hopes that they will learn from my flaws. I was blessed and am so thankful for these encounters in my life.
Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
i am learning day by day to solely and completely depend on God. it’s good to know about our flaws because it helps us lean on God and drives us to become a better person.
challenge-tell the truth in all situations…use your faults as tools to help others
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life….kb
Monday, April 2, 2012
i talked to a guy my age today who is a full time college student who is feeling called to full time prison ministries. awesome?...i'd say so. seeing passion and drive in someone's eyes tell you that God is working in their heart. over the past year i have been blessed to have little encounters with people who have a desire to do more in their life. this young man was one of those people-one person who didn't know how he was going to do it but heard God's voice and now is choosing to follow it.
i was challenged with a devotional from the, "daily bread" yesterday, that talked about how it's human to resist change. we find ourselves digging for every reason why we are going to fail and that's what usually stops us from doing the will of our Father. the devotional hit it dead on when it stated, "it's not change in general that we hate; it's change that involves loss-sometimes physical; other times emotional or psychological." change is what's going to have to take place in order for us to grow and be in a better place, but we have to make sure to keep God the center of it.
at a young age some people just "know" what they are called to do, for some of us it takes time...i just think it's important to know where your heart is and God will lead us in His time.
take every moment you can and give it to the Lord...
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...kb
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
life is the period between birth and death, or so one definition states it online. i am confused, but yet know this period in my life i am going a new, fresh direction. i am 21, not your normal get crazy, drink, and party 21 year old. i love nights spent with family, i love countless hours spent on my cell phone at night getting to know people, and i love where i stand with the Lord. i believe this is the life God desires for me.
i look at life with a new perspective after July. i was not fully reaching the potential God set out for me, and although it took lots of pain and tears to get here-i'm happy. the kind of happy where i'm not afraid to be blunt, truthful,or my honest self.
so-this is what im thinking right now in this moment...i'm living for Jesus, and i feel like He is proud of me for that. i think i have been searching so hard for what Jesus wants me to do that maybe He wants me to stop and focus on what I have with Him right now. I know my relationship with Him has lacked, a lot, but i know where i stand now and where i don't want to be again. i have learned to include God in my relationships, and everyday activities because He is all that truly matters as i live my life.
i need strength and patience. i have learned to go the the Lord first with any problem. i love my life, and all the people in it and strive everyday to be the woman He made me to be
psalm 30:1
i will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me. you refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Monday, March 5, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
BUT....my life isn't about what I want to do, it's about God's will and i need to be obedient and do just that.
as i prepare for a weekend of speaking, singing, and worship i have had a lot of time to pause and reflect on what God really wants me to say. i struggle with fears and worries about not being able to say what i want and staying relaxed. i struggle with rejection and curiosity on how the crowd will take what we all have to say.
purity. ya-not always an easy topic to speak on but i honestly feel like God has called me to do it. i have been on a bumpy path and have so much on my heart to talk about but yet worry. i can only pray God will fill my mouth with the words He needs these young girls to hear. you see we were told going into this event this weekend that a girl from this group tried to justify that it's ok to have sex before marriage. it's not. and i can only hope i am able to plant a new seed and a new view on how GOD views sex, love, and marriage.
so a verse i plan on sharing...
romans 6:1-2
"well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? of course not! since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?"
proverbs 4:23
"above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
i pray this weekend brings challenges so i can be used for God's kingdom. i pray for Jesus' to speak through me, and i pray the girls that come to the conference this weekend come with open hearts.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
it was amazing. i was starting to feel hollow in my walk lately and needed some stillness and a time to reflect: and that's exactly what i got. i walked away from the weekend feeling refreshed and renewed.
the speaker at the retreat really helped us focus on our own walk with the Lord. he wanted us to look at who the hero's in our life were, where there are danger signs in our life, and how we can help other's if they are heading in the wrong direction. we reflected on how we all have sin in our lives, but God came and gave us the most wonderful gift we could ever ask for. love and grace.
my favorite verse i walked away with from this weekend: john 10:10
the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full
i reflected on the speaker's words as he said the hero's in most of our lives are not celebrities, or well known people, it's the "unknown" people-they are the hero's! the hero's in my life-God and my family...i don't know what i would do without any one of them. they lift me up when i am down, and hold me up in the difficult times. they are my hero's.
we went on to talk about the danger's in our lives and the danger our family and friends may be heading into. this hit home, i make mistakes but feel like i have God to rely on now, where in the past i was living "alone." i was able to write a note to myself about what i want for my life, where i don't want to be again, and what i'm going to do when i am about to fall. once i got out the pen and paper it was crazy how the words filled the page. i could have wrote for hours. God was speaking through me onto that paper and i wanted to keep writing...
back to this verse from john...it really got me thinking. i want to live a full life-IN CHRIST. i want to not feel guilty about my decisions and i want to be surrounded by Christian loving people.
i want to be REAL.
satan has won the battle in my life far to often, and i'm sick of that. he is a thief who only comes to destroy me emotionally and make me feel hollow. i'm done with that...
looking out at a church of young youth filled with the love of my Father this past weekend was a blessing. singing to my Father in worship, with youth hungry for the Lord is powerful, and i know all the wonderful moments were a gift from Him. i walked away from the weekend learning i need to "pause" more in my life. i need to step away from the facebook, texting, tv, and music to just pray, study, and learn more about my Father.
He came to give ME life, and live it to the full...this i know.
thank u Father, u are good!
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?
but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.
"do not fear their threats; do not be frightened."
but in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.
always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
but do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscious, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
for it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
i don't know how to even write this blog today-i have so much racing through my mind. life seem's to have shaken for a lot of people in the past few days and i can't help but stop and think about the pain and suffering i know they are going through. it's hard to find the hope in what we think is a hopeless situation...i get that-maybe in a different form but i get it.
this blog is thrown together-i know-but it's my thoughts, my words
back to the verse...i asked a friend last week a favorite bible verse they had. this was it! pretty much love it, and found myself wondering why i didn't trip upon it sooner. i realize as i get older, i am learning more about who i am as a women-sometimes scary, but good. i find myself digging into the word more, wanting to reach the lost and even the found. i need the found to hold me up and support me and the lost to help me grow and share my love for the Lord. After processing this verse through my mind a few times my conclussion...i am blessed when i have to suffer for what is right because i have a mighty Father who cares!
life is full of unexpected suprises and tradgedies, and i was reminded of that this week. i am also reminded that i am on earth for one purpose and that is to follow my Lord and Savior and do what His will is for my life. i have to be ready for the time when someone walks into my life and asks about the hope that God has given me! i will never have the answers to why things have to happen to good people but it is all part of God's will and purpose and i have to trust just that.
in the hard times i need to remeber God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
its been a few weeks since being back in the states and i have been taking this time to soak in the whole experience.
people have asked how haiti was...
that's a loaded question!
it's beyond hard to describe the things i saw, and the feelings i went through.
my heart was broken holding children at the orphanage who are without parents. my heart was broken seeing a little boy getting his shoe stolen, and then to see him cry as if he lost everything-these was all emotions and feelings i will never be able to put into words, but i am so thankful i was able to experience.
i went on the trip hoping to come back with and idea and direction i wanted to go with my life. i came back disappointed feeling like i had unanswered questions and i was just as confused as
when i left. after a few weeks of being home, i think God did give me answers i just had to search my heart some more.
i went to haiti wondering if mission work was something God was calling me to get into full time. i was curious if God wanted me to be used in a different country, and if this is where He wanted me to stay for awhile. i learned on this trip and being home for a few weeks that God is calling me to do more short term mission trips. -i am excited to see where He will lead me with more mission trips, i am thankful for these answers to what i thought were unanswered prayers a few weeks ago.
i am learning to be happy with what i have
thankful for the people who have surrounded me the past few months
and have gotten my life right with God- it's awesome.
i feel like my life is at a place it has never been before
i found-me.
i have learned to accept my life and embrace all that God throws at me...and i am grateful.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Saturday, February 4, 2012
"but because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved"
it is by grace i have been saved...it's hard for my head to wrap around this truth that God has given me. when i'm sinning i sure don't think of what God did for me on that cross...how selfish i know..this is why i have chosen to focus my life more on God and others than on myself. its hard-for me. but i sure am trying.
after seeing my little nephew in the hospital this past week it sure hit me that at any moment God can shake up our lives and we find ourselves depending on Him completely. why is it that when life gets tough or something goes wrong i find myself more in the word and prayer? i hate this-it's the guilt that weighs heavy on my heart. i think God is teaching me trust and what love is-he saw me slowly going back to old ways and wants my heart back that is alive in Him so he had to shake things up to shake me up.
i have to thank a dear friend for sending me this text a few months ago when life was tough because it's been a text i have gone back and looked at on more than one occasion-and one that i have looked at a lot this past week.
"you're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God"
i need to do more leaning on God-more trusting. i am blessed. i have the most amazing family and although i have heard on more than one occasion that were together ALL the time i don't see what's bad about that. i am blessed to have brother in laws that i could call in a split second to talk to and know they would listen if something was wrong. i am blessed to have sisters that are my best friends and are their for me through the good and the bad. and then my parents-they have loved me unconditionally and i am so thankful for all they have done in my life.
i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. period. i have an awesome life and i'm so thankful for God's grace and love for me even in the hard times. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
ok...well thats not true but so often i wish i could live up to the statement, "don't worry"
life is so jumbled-and such a mess. i am confused more often than im certain and thats not always the most comforting thing- but maybe that means God is working in me...working in my crazy confused heart to made sure i have it right with Him? idk.
3 years ago on a sunday afternoon i sat in my parents living room with my sister jasmyn while she was playing chords on her guitar. we started messing around with lyrics and i remember writing the lyrics, "sometimes i wonder what's staring back at me, i've been so blinded by what i thought i should be" at this time in my life i was broken and hiding so many things, i wanted change but didn't know how to get out of it. i remember having many meanings behind those few lyrics, but the main things that stood out to me- i was being so blind to how i was treating the one's that loved me. i was selfish and self centered. i wondered how my family was viewing me but also the little girls that i sang to at concerts. i was putting on an 'act' and i was living a different life. i had all the idea's in the book of what i wanted to be and i was going to do just that-
God changed that all. i don't know the exact moment everything hit me and i wish i had a more ah ha moment to write about, but i dont-all i know is God tested me, i failed, but His grace and love came back to rescue me...i needed to change my heart. i honestly think the song Change that Heart was written for me. selfish i say that? i don't think so. when i am on stage singing this song it brings me back through all the stuff i went through and ends with saying, "im not who i use to be"-thats my anthem, right there, right now. i have a different heart, i have a different reason for living, i have a new mission in life-and it's awesome, im not who i use to be!
im running to God with all of my heart, with all of my scars, asking him to hold me in his hands and lead me where He wants me to go. i am asked often what i want to do with the rest of my life-i don't know. that scares me, that worries me, but God wants me to come to Him with my fears and lay it at His feet and that is something i am learning. i want to be faithful, i want to be honest, and i want to be real. Jesus' love never fails. period. I have a Father who is alive and here and i want others to know and see that and im just not sure how i am going to do that yet.
haiti changed me. gave me new light. the trip was not what i planned but God showed me that it wasn't about what i planned, it was His plan that mattered and i needed to follow just that.
reality can be hard. excited? yes! i serve an awesome God and who knows what He has in store.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life.
kb
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
i saw destruction- i saw how powerful our God is- and i saw what an earthquake can do to a country.
the earth may shake but our God stands strong.
my heart goes out to the people of haiti and all they must have been through 2 years ago. lost lives, homes destroyed, and broken hope. today we were taken to see the capital building and some churches that have not been touched since the earthquake.
the earthquake was such a huge loss for the country of haiti that people now believe the capital building is the "devil's house" and no one wants to touch it. the capital remains untouched 2 years later... it's hard to tell by looking at these pictures but the earthquake that lasted all of 10 seconds collapsed the entire middle floor of the capital, destroyed this church, and many lost the homes they once had and now live in tents.
this was the day it hit me...i am thankful for where i live and all i have.
we ended our day getting ready for what we knew God was going to make a great day 2 of the festival. everything ran a lot smoother and we knew God was working in the hearts of the haitians when we saw an increase of people who came out that night to worship, pray, and hang out with us. we saw a rise in people that wanted to give their lives to Christ and it was so exciting to be by their sides praying them on!
i was not only at the festival to help plant a seed, God wanted me to be fed too. it's always great to have another band along that i can worship with. it was a blessing to have Rachelle Hopes band along side of us with the same mission in mind! alan and josh both came out and gave great testimonies/messages and it was great to see the connection they had with the crowd. but the main attraction every night was the bmx rider that came along with us...john. not only did kids love him but also adults-they couldnt get enough of his jumps and flips. john lives his life for the lord and he had quite the story to tell.
Day 6
we were up early to be prepared to go to pastor luc's church. i have never been to a church outside of the country so i didn't know what to expect. the church had cement walls and fold up chairs but that's not what the church is all about-its about worship and fellowship and it was evident in these people. churches in haiti are a lot simpler than in america, sometimes i think we get lost in all our denominations that we forget what church is all about. haiti churches don't worry about what time it is, or how long the message go-people are so excited to be at a place where God's love can be spoken about. we were able to be apart of the service and sing two worship songs along with the song we learned in creole. God is SO good!
we went to the final day of the festival early to get some sound checks in and be prepared for what God was going to do that night. we estimated the final night to have 6-7 thousand people with us! we were overwhelmed with all the excitement the people had and had the most amazing time of worship with them. by the third night some of the haitians had caught on to our songs and were singing and dancing along with us. it was so neat-words can't describe the worship that was going on that night! the final night was crazy-people were trying to get as close to the ramp and stage as possible and everyone wanted a book of hope. God kept us safe and we were so thankful for the lives God brought out to the 3 day festival we were apart of!
with one day left before heading back to the states we were excited for what God was going to do on our final day...
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...
kb
Thursday, January 19, 2012
“God isn’t looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him“ — Hudson
Taylor
festival day...not going to lie most of the day was such a blur, in a good way :)
the day started off bright and early with our morning devos and breakfast. we arrived at the "soccer stadium" at ten expecting the sound/production guys to be their as well. little did we know 10 in haiti means 11:30 their time. streets and driving are quite crazy so this was to be expected. when we arrived john (pro bmx rider) got right to work with building his ramp. God was present and that was apparent when we drove up and saw a lumber yard right across from the soccer stadium. that was a God thing FOR SURE! kids were instantly drawn to the men building the ramp and wanted to know what was going on. while some of our group worked on the ramps others of us when down the streets talking to people about Jesus and inviting them to the festival we were putting on that night. we were able to see how people make a living as many women were on the streets selling produce and whatever else they owned.
this day in haiti was probably my favorite day out of them all. a few of us met a boy by the soccer stadium who was crying, we walked over to the little boy who then went on to tell us someone picked on him and stole one of his shoes. this boy was crying like he had lost everything he had ever had-this shoe meant the world to him and he looked devastated. he melted our hearts and we knew we couldn't let him go home this way. a few of us from the team headed out to the streets to look for a new pair of shoes for this little boy, after almost giving up not being able to find any God provided. the best $5 bucks i have ever spent after seeing this little boys smile on his face. he gave me a hug, pounded me, and waved goodbye. i was hoping this was not the last time i would see this boy, and it wasn't-he was at the festival grounds every night and by the last night he somehow made his way on the stage to sit by us. i'll never forget those brown eyes that looked at me...
our first night of the festival we saw 2000 haitians come out which we we're very excited about. we had plenty of room to grow and knew God would bring even more people to the festival on day 2 & 3. we saw many people give their lives to christ and it was so exciting to be around and experience. everything was such a blur the first night of the festival i felt like we were their and gone, but what we were able to be a part of was life changing. haiti changes your whole look on life and i am so thankful to have been blessed with this mission in my life.
“Prepare for the worst, expect the best, and take what comes.” – Robert Speer
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life...kb
Monday, January 16, 2012
days in haiti seemed to fly by and the time spent with my group and the haitians are one’s I will remember forever. every night was filled with time to sit and debrief as a group and hear stories about our days and encounters we may have had-this was probably one of my favorite parts of our trip/along with late night talks with the midnight crew.
we had the opportunity to visit a village 2 hours away from port au prince and see a church that pastor luc had planted. (talk about a sore butt-little did i know but roads in haiti are nothing like america) Before heading out to the village we learned a part of the song, “come now is the time to worship,” in creole- so we would be able to sing with the children in the village. It was so special to worship as one voice and one language in the village singing:
vini, kounyea se le pou noo adorae
vini, dounyea se le pou bay kayou
vini (x2)
at the village we passed out bowls of rice, gravy, and noodles to the children and later did crafts with them in groups outside. every child whether young or old wanted every craft because to them getting new things is so special-it’s hard to describe but the joy in their eyes after they receive something was so neat to see. i fell in love with big brown eyes and it was great to experience just a bit of their culture and their home. we were blessed to have some amazing translators come with us to the village but when my group headed out to do prayer walking we were paired up with a boy from the village who knew english-i had a good conversation with him about how he learned english, where he first heard about Jesus Christ, and what he wanted to do with his life. i wasn’t expecting to hear this man say how much he loved his village-he had such a heart for the people. he said when he is done with his english schooling he wants to return back to the village and help the people there. he was a great translator to be paired up with- he was on a mission to have us pray over people and their homes-as many people as we could reach in the amount of time we had-he was thrilled about having us there so it made it all the more fun.
i never realized how much people wanted prayer-it’s a matter of asking and people opened up their hearts to us. in the village people wanted prayer for their marriages, health, being accepted, and their new life in Christ-they are just like us. they have needs but they are so open about it and want to talk about it and it was so special. the haitians barely knew us but yet trusted us enough to talk about what was on their heart and asked us to pray about it-God is good!
we have it good in America-far better than what we deserve. the people of haiti have so little but yet are happy. i am hoping i took a little bit of this attitude back with me to the states. i was not expecting to see as much poverty as i did-it’s crazy to me that throwing their garbage wherever they want is normal in their everyday lives. my eyes were opened to the living conditions most people have-to see tent villages and homes the size of my bathroom sure gave me a new perspective on how good I have it. i am forever grateful for the experience this trip has been.
Ruth 1:16
“don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you. where you go i will go, and where you stay i will stay. your people will be my people and your God my God.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life…
kb
Friday, January 13, 2012
what a way to start off a new year...
i am so blessed that i was able to travel to haiti and have my eyes opened to a new country. what i saw is something i can’t even put into words....but i’m going to try.
our first day in haiti was overwhelming and exciting. my first step out of the plane i knew my life would be rocked but in a good way. i’m not going to sit here and lie and say it wasn’t a scary experience at some points, it was. we were stared at, given gestures, and I even had my hand hit by a haitian. but i looked beyond these few things because in the hearts of the haitians a saw happiness-I saw the love of Jesus.
the country of Haiti is beautiful. the first day we traveled up a mountain and prayed over all of haiti. (i hope to return to this mountain someday-it was the most breathtaking view i have ever seen) when we were on top of the mountain a local artist was painting a picture of what he saw when he looked out over the mountain. we had the opportunity to ask the man what he thought haiti needed the most, so we could pray about it. “haiti needs Jesus to come back”- wow, i was speechless. you can’t put into words what it felt like to hear someone say these words with so much passion, he really believed in his heart that haiti needed Jesus in order for change.
i sat in the still silence overlooking haiti almost numb. i am blessed beyond words-america is blessed- but yet what i saw was more happiness in the hearts of the haitians than you do in a country where we have been given far more than we need.
you know how you sit at home watching tv and commercials come on where you see poverty and destruction in other countries-well it’s REAL. i obviously knew it was out there but to truly be in and around it was staggering.
the rest of our afternoon/night was filled with children, soccer balls, smiles and laughter. americans vs. haitians (might I add all these kids were probably half our age) = I think you can figure out the outcome of our game. jamaica showed off her mad soccer skills by taking on some little haitian boys and showing them up-it was quite adorable to here little haitian kids giggling as they watched Jamaica play. i don’t think little white girls have been to haiti much because everyone wanted to touch her skin and see her up close.
Day 1 was over-sad- but exciting to see what God had in store for the remainder of our trip!
God is good all the time…all the time God is good. i seen this after the first day in haiti.
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. —Colossians 1:13-14
this is my story, this is my journey, this is my life…kb
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012-the year i am hoping to conquer some resolutions. i haven't wrote in a few days-i wanted to get my thoughts together before i leave, but i do want to talk about what went on today.
back in november pastor told us about a box he was going to have in the sanctuary-this box was going to be a place to write down our thoughts about what he would like us to have him preach on. of course i was going to take him up on this offer being in the confused state of mind i was.
so i wrote-i wanted to know how i was suppose to separate God's calling for my life from my own thoughts. how was i supposed to know if God was calling me to something or if it was just me "thinking" these things.
so there were my thoughts-written down and now in the box. i was going to hopefully get some answers to my questions and that excited me. i have been watching week by week to see what the next sermon topic would be on. and it happened. today.
"a call for you on line one" 1 samuel 3:1-11
main topics under this caption:
*what is a call from God?
*how do i know if it's a call from God?
*how do these calls come to us?
*to whom do these calls come?
*how do i respond to God's call in my life?
i knew this message was going to hit home for me. my questions and then some were answered. i was given a new insight and a new thinking on this whole, "calling" thing and it was overwhelming. to top it all there i was sitting at the end of the service singing one of the most beautiful worship songs feeling tears fill my eyes. God was working not only in me but the people around me and i felt it. i saw arms raised and their as a church we sang...
holy, holy Lord God almighty
worthy is the lamb who was slain
highest praises honor and glory
be unto your name, be unto your name
it was amazing. perfect timing. a God thing. 1 day away from leaving for haiti and God knew the perfect time to have our pastor preach on our callings in life. i believe. i believe in an amazing God who is working and like pastor said this morning our God works in the grace department. i am a sinner-but God wants to work in my life. i was given a purpose on this earth, a mission and calling and it's my time to fulfill it.
thank u God for your perfect timing...i heard you loud and clear this morning and i am ready for port au prince and all you will show me. road blocks may come but my God is strong- i believe He is working in my heart and will be in the hearts of the haitians to overcome anything. i look forward to writing about my journey when i come home. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
this is my journey, this is my story, this is my life. kb